Monday, January 21, 2013

Forgiveness, Healing, and Trust

So, last month I made a big blunder in my relationship with my wife.  Actually, make that two big blunders.  I'm not talking the "Oops, I stepped on your toes, I'll be more careful next time."  No, these were full-sized anthills that I kicked up.

Although I would rather have the blunders back, the experience taught me a lot about the relationship between forgiveness, healing, and trust.

Did my wife forgive me?  I would say yes, almost immediately.  Does that mean that everything immediately went back to the way things were before my blunders?  Absolutely not.  Does that mean that she didn't forgive me?  Of course not.  Forgiveness was granted, but trust and healing take time.  It doesn't mean that forgiveness isn't there.  It just takes time to rebuild things.

Another way to look at it is to compare it to physical therapy.  Many years ago, I had the pleasure of a type three ankle sprain (swollen on both sides).  It was caused by a very quick collision, which was not on purpose.  But the fact that it was not on purpose did not take the pain away, nor did it immediately heal my ankle.  I went to physical therapy every week for a month to work through the pain and regain mobility.  I was also given exercises to do every night to help with the healing and recovery.

After working through the pain and the exercises and the struggles, my ankle was stronger than it was before it was injured.

I think the same can be true for our marriages.  Sometimes they can become stronger because of the pain and struggles.  Not that we should seek out painful experiences for ourselves (or, heaven forbid, for our spouse).  But these type of experiences will inevitably come as part of the experience of living in mortality.  As long as they are there, should we not use them to build ourselves and our marriages, to make them stronger than they were before?

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Perfection - A Short Thought

Inspiration and truth can be found in the most unusual places.  I am an avid racquetball player, and I was surfing some racquetball web sites the other day.  On one of them, I came across a "Tip of the Day" from racquetball coach Jim Winterton.  His tip for January 15th was very profound:

"Perfection-it is a blessing and a curse.  If your goal is to be perfect, you will always fail.  If your goal is to strive to be perfect, you may succeed!  The difference between those two things is forgiveness of an error and keeping your mind in the present, not the past!" -Jim Winterton

 This is very good advice for racquetball players.  And it is also one of the best explanations I have ever heard about how we should strive for perfection.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Do You Want To Be An Awesome Husband?

Hopefully that question got your attention.  As much as I would like to take credit for the question, I must defer to Paul over at The Generous Husband.  This is a new series he is starting for 2013, and I am very eager to see what he has to say.

Would you like to be an awesome husband?  That is ultimately up to you.  It does not depend on your past choices, sins, background, or circumstances.  It doesn't even depend upon what your wife thinks of you (although I acknowledge that you, like myself, probably want your wife to think you are awesome).  Ultimately, being an awesome husband depends upon our choices, our attitude, and what the Lord thinks.

Intrigued yet?  Head on over to to The Generous Husband blog, and check out the 2013 Awesome Husband Project.  I want to be an awesome husband this year, and I hope that you do too!