As I have progressed in my healing, I have started actually looking at my own needs and wants, instead of pretending that they don't exist (which doesn't work out too well, by the way). I have prayed and pondered about many of them, and I have asked Heavenly Father for some of them in prayer. I have received many good things, and I am taking better care of myself than I have in years.
But that doesn't mean I've received everything that I've asked for. Sometimes Heavenly Father has a different answer for me.
Sometimes God says "No."
Are those my favorite prayers? Definitely not. But they are, perhaps, some of the most valuable ones.
I asked for something particularly difficult a week or so ago, and waited to see the results. Several things happened during the week which made God's answer very clear to me. And the answer was "No."
Usually, I pull a toddler act at this point. You know the deal, cry, throw yourself on the ground, have a temper tantrum, the usual. And it works about as well for me as it does for the typical toddler.
I've tried to take a different approach this time. Not for all of the "No" answers, but for this particular one. I have tried to humble myself before God and accept His will, even though it is not what I wanted. I've tried to accept His will in prayer.
And it has worked out okay.
In fact, my eyes have been opened in the days since I attempted to pray with humility to accept His will. I've seen several other things that have shown me why His answer to me is a "No" at this time. And I'm okay with it.
As hard as it may seem to be, sometimes a "No" is the most loving answer for everyone involved.