In order to get somewhere, we must first know where we are. I intend to post as the Spirit directs. At the moment, I feel that I should post on where I currently am in my personal walk with the Savior, as well as in my marriage. I imagine this will take several days. As much as I might wish for things to be different, I must work with reality. Especially since I once heard it said that if we fight against reality, we only lose 100% of the time.
I have been pondering where I live most of my marriage. I determined that I spend most of it in the past or the future. Neither is a particularly good place for building the marriage. The past is filled with regret for poor choices, unforgiven offenses (both real and imagined), and outdated information. I am not the same person that I was in the past. Neither is my wife. Both of us have grown and changed since we got married. Attempting to work out of the past is futile, as many of the assumptions that live there no longer apply.
The future is an equally bad place to live. I can set things however I wish in the future, without effort or consequence. However, it is like a dream and an illusion. Also, sometimes anxiety and depression kick in, making the future look dark and bleak. This can lead to the self-fulfilling prophecy, and also makes it difficult for me to even want to try. Whether good or ill, the future is not the place to live either.
That leaves the present. This is the only moment that I have any control or influence over. The past is gone, and cannot be recalled. I can hopefully learn from it, but then it needs to be left in peace. The future is a dream, and one that is by no means guaranteed. The Lord reminded us of this in the Bible with a parable:
"The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?" -Luke 12: 16-20 (KJV)
It is good to set goals for the future, but the present is the only way to reach them.
So to strengthen my marriage, I need to learn from the past, plan for the future, but live in the present. Each day I am given a new opportunity to do the things the Lord would have me do to strengthen my marriage. I can no longer afford to live anywhere other than where I am today.